you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize