He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
