I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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