I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
