so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
she looked like the before picture.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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