Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
