It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize