Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
