No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
