We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
