4 words: hood of his car
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
