it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just pee around me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
