I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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