How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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