There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
