Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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