he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
