I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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