Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
