the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
