So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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