he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
