We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
