Don't make out with my wife yet
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
