Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
