How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
