I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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