So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
