I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
