ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
