Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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