She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
