it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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