my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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