Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
