bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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