Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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