i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
