I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
