There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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