What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
