Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
A bitchslap is in order.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
