Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
