but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
