It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
