he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's Friday. Sex?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
