hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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