goodnight i made you a song goodbye
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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