Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
