Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
