Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
