I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
