we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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