I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize