Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
