On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
