That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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