i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize