Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
grandma shit on top of the toilet
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
