Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
