Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
