I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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