The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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