Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
