I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They have beer where we have blood.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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