I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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