$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Dick very happy bro
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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