Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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