sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think your dad took our porno
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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