the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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