the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
