I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
