I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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