We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
