Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
