he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
