More tranny stories later!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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