she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
