Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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