Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
time to smoke my breakfast
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
