Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
